She rings too loud

It has been like a week and I can’t stop thinking about her. Yes, she is the one I am talking about, she is so cool and serene. I stare at her whenever I get a chance. Only to see, to admire her beauty, her charm, so lovely to be a spectator. To watch her working is such a delight.

She is so busy all the time. Engrossed in her work, completely, as if she does not know what is happening in the world outside. As if you could mute all the noise that is going around and inside your mind and concentrate on the needle point. She is so calm. I could never see a line of agony or negativity on her face. So controlled, so blessed and happy.

I felt this feeling in me. It is just like when you admire the nature or when you feel so blessed standing on a mountain when a stroke of cold breeze hits your face. Like when you watch fishes swimming in the water, so icy, such a symphony. This is it. This is love.

She rings too loud in my mind. I cannot stop her. It is like an orchestra, not like Linkin Park, I would say. That is killing. It is like Bob Marley, the redemption song. But this time I want to die. Is this real? Why does this happen. A music starts in your mind suddenly and everything else seems dull. Every routine day seems so long. These are the days, when I feel the best of me. It gets better every day.

She is the symbol. The symbol of purity. A sensation, a thundering. A ray of light during a rainy and cloudy dark night!

Words from my heart

• Music is love. It is the sound of love. Sound is the only way to express, to pour your heart, your love, out. I mean, it is the root, the very source of universe.
• Quality is the key. It makes you happy. It moves you an inch further to that divine energy. Hence it sells better. It has to.
• Emotion is life. Emotion is expression. It is our true nature. Be yourself, express yourself.
• I am still in control. I need more of it. I want to lose myself. This is life. This is it, the only moment, and I guess this is the only way out.
• I represent myself. I am my only salesman. I am the one who sells me best.
• Should I do it? Do I give myself to you as I would, when I feel what’s around me?
• Every moment is the bliss. Live here, die here. Take a shower and go back to work. This is it. This is the world, the only home.
• This is better than the last time. This is real good coz I am learning. This is Evolution. Yes, I am talking about Darwin’s natural selection.
• Pain is true. Pain is love. They are the same.
• Can’t I be this good all the time? Bless thyself. Let me be it. I am loving it. These are the moments, I will say.
• Music is energy. The very nature of music is therapy. It’s like going back home. It purpose is to make you feel better, that’s it. You got it.
• I cannot define sense. Is it being Sensuous or for that matter, Sensitive. Alive.
• I am living these moments. Let me have them. They add up in the end, to make my life. That’s also my age. Literally too, age means summation of the years, you were alive, yes, living.
• May be I am nearing to the best of me; my senses, my treasures, my gifts.
• Gratitude is yet to come, I think. I have stopped worrying these days. I am less scared now, relatively though, yes, that’s what I have achieved so far.
• Let me do it. Do not stop me from being me. Lets go back home. I am here to take you home. Lets go home, its time.
• She was there; I was so sure, so much that I was confident, not scared of her being there. But I guess, it’s a fair deal.
• I believe I will survive. I am a better person now, more in control, or that’s what it seems at least, and rather that is what it is supposed to be.
• They are waiting there like idiots and wanting something better to come. What an illusion! What more could come? This is the best shot. The day’s best panoramic capture by a photographer. Live now.
• If you feel alive in its presence, then it is something worth talking about. That might actually be it. Everything else is business.
• Her color is fair as clouds. Her walk is like ice, the breeze itself. Her arms are gray, slender and her clothes are gold. She moves me. There she is. She is the one.
• The best friend. She is the chilling wind of fall. I am at sea. Yeah, at sea.
• Judge anything by love. That’s it. It should move you. Love moves. It is its nature.
• Could you take me with you?

Paint my soul

M. F. Husain once said, “Hold the sky in your hands when I paint, coz I do not know the limits of my canvas.” Painting is a love affair. If you do it, you do it whole heartedly. Painting is one of the forms of expression of soul amongst many others. Art, as I see it, is the expression of my soul. If I can express it correctly, I am a good artist. Expression could take any platform; dance, music, words or anything else. It is important that you express, as an artist.

I recently took up painting and graffiti again. I used to do it some time ago and then I got busy with other stuff. I started it again. To help me experiment with it and to help me improve my skills in the area I compiled a list of different styles of painting and sketching. This helps me practice, to experiment, to be able to know my stuff. Eventually, you do not need any styles. You develop one of your own. This will take time and effort and most importantly heart. Artists are not heartless persons, remember. They are sensitive to nature.

1. Paint a non living subject.
2. Paint a living subject (portrait/landscape).
3. Free style painting (Picasso).
4. Throwing paint on the canvas directly, without using brush (Pollock).
5. Paint with hands. Once you learn to paint with hands and fingers, trust me, brushes won’t be necessary.
6. Sketch from memory. Paint it.
7. Paint directly from memory.
8. Paint from a picture.
9. Sketch from a photograph, paint it.
10. Explore different materials. Some of them could be: pastels, charcoal, color pencils, water soluble colors pencils, fountain pen, poster colors, water colors, oil colors, leaves, flowers, fruits, vegetables, aerosol sprays etc.
11. Sketch a moving object. Paint it. Remember, animation is concentration.
12. Paint hands and feet. Hands and feet are one of the most difficult subjects to paint.
13. Paint robes. Robes have enough curves, folds for you to practice.
14. Paint with only one color. Use the background as the second color.
15. Paint on glass.
16. Sketch cartoons/caricature.
17. Paint on wall (Graffiti).
18. Depict a story/poem in the painting.
19. Paint self portrait using a mirror.
20. Paint self portrait using a photograph.
21. Paint self portrait at different ages. Grid or accordion style could be used.
22. Paint portraits of loved ones.
23. Spray painting. Aerosol spray paints could be used.
24. Paint your room with your stuff in it. (One of the famous Van Gogh painting).
25. Experiment with light and shadow principle.
26. Observe deeply. Photograph often. Learn by doing. Remember, painting is to paint and not some thing to read about.
27. Body painting.
28. Paint nudes. Try to get the curvatures and veins structure right.
29. Paint greeting cards, book covers etc.

Sports

Sport and game are not synonymous. They mean entirely different things. Sporting is much more deeper process compared to games. Games are activities done for fun purposes.

Sports are a boon. If you are a sportsman, you would know it. It takes a lot of hardwork and passion to learn sports, but sports have a much bigger picture to show you. It does not take anything to love sports, it comes from within. You can learn the skills but cannot buy the love for them. Love comes from your blood and your very basic nature and existence. Love is existence.

To be a perfect sportsmen, it demands a lot of time. Not everybody can do that. Sport transform you to higher levels of mind and soul. You do not belong here while playing. Journey towards the stage of perfection starts from the road of hardwork and passion but requires much more. You have to have that blood and those nerves. Hardwork and passion are blended with your genes and then a meditation stage is reached. You are meditating and all of your energies are concentrated. Just as concentration of sunrays brings fire, concentration of energies brings purification. At this stage, you get purified. This is the purification of the body, mind and the soul. You feel fresh and rejuvenated. After this cleansning process, there comes perfection.

At this time, your body is not controlled by you, neither do you require to concentrate forcibly. It just happens. You happen to play the best of your strokes and it just happens. They are called masterstrokes and masterstrokes create history. They continue to amuse the worlds for infinite durations. It is a divine creation.

It takes a lot to create masterstrokes, it is a long process and most of all, it requires those genes and that blood.

Inadequacies of life

Let us all together investigate into Life. I feel very incomplete over here. Nothing seems to be permanent and lasting. Everything comes to an end finally. All goals and ambitions are illusions. I am going through a state of mind where you don’t see any meaning in any custom, ritual, tradition, action or process. This all seems a play. We are all playing around wasting our time. It seems that somebody has hypnotized us for years and we are just doing what is directed. We have become conditioned for years by our lands, people around us, our epics and legendaries and nature. I feel many questions troubling my mind day and night to be answered. I am trying to find somebody who can answer these questions for me. I am putting in lots of my efforts to understand and solve them. They might seem simple questions but are related to life in full terms. Some of them go like this:
Who am I?
What I am here for?
Why does life end?
If ending of life is certain, why are people so engrossed in so many activities out here?
Who is driving this world?
Why is he doing so?
How should we live?
What is the result of death, i.e. what happens after death?
What is enlightenment?
How does an enlightened person live?
What changes happen in his mindset?
Can somebody show me the real purpose of life or real way of living?
Can anybody be immortal?
If somebody does not like this life, is there any way to choose some other life or to go back to the origin?
What is the reason that we are given a life of a human being and not an animal?
What is the significance of the non living things against living beings?

And the list goes on and on. These are only few of what are going in my mind. I am trying to find answers for all of them. I am an investigator, a researcher, an analyst. I am a disbeliever of all the books, legends, stories, theories, principles, philosophers, saints, gods, rules and traditions. I don’t find any meaning in this big mesh of emotions, rat-races, wars, pleasures, struggles, fights and all. We are all running around for different materialistic targets. Some of us are crazy for money, some of us are fascinated about fame, everybody is imprisoned in some or the other way.

Let us all disbelieve present theories, rituals and dogmas. Let us think beyond all this. Our thinking is only confined to certain boundaries. Let us break these barriers and go above them. Try to exemplify the theories in your own life. Don’t trust any rules. Awaken your senses to sense and perceive the world in your own way. Think beside the world. Find out the reason of you being here. Analyze the life and find out better ways of living. The worst part is that the life is going to end at certain date and time without asking for your permission. You are a puppet and some magician is holding your string. Try to understand the magician, string and yourself. Try to grab the string in your own hands. Live your own way and style. Trust is always blind. They say, “Don’t blindly trust anybody. Don’t be superstitious.” I will say that trust is always blind. If you could see through you own eyes or if you are capable or experiencing yourself, you don’t need to trust anybody. Trust is utmost necessary but should only be done when really required. It is always partial and blind. Somebody is trying to define a death, i.e. an expiry date for us. This shows somebody is beyond you. Somebody is above you. Try to understand that energy ball and go beyond it. I don’t see any meaning of playing around being a doll in somebody else hands. I don’t find it satisfactory. This is against my self-respect. I would be thankful, if somebody out there is ready and capable of answering my queries and problems. Let us find the volunteers all across the world and set out a mission of finding answers to these questions. All interested people can mail me their contact details and reason to be interested in this kind of mission. Let’s make things better. Let’s make a difference together!

There is so much more to life!

Have you ever imagined how beautiful life is? All what you can see, hear and feel is a very small part of all what can be seen, heard and felt. A big portion of the nature and life is unseen, unfelt, untouched. It is waiting for us.

Have you ever seen the beauty of wet shining leaves when they shed off their dirt during monsoon? Have you checked the black clouds singing and asking the monsoon to pour on them? There is so much more to life than you can imagine. Explore new things. Explore new activities. Learn new things. There is a famous old story about a frog considering his small well as the entire world; once he comes out of his well, he realizes the world is so big. There is so much around to be explored. Our lives are like that. We are living like a frog considering our small well of illusion and experiences as the whole world. We never know what is going to happen next. Keep jumping for chances. They don’t have to hit you always. You should hit on them.

Check out the bright sun rising everyday and giving energy to the whole universe. We don’t remind Sun to rise everyday. Nobody does and nobody can. It does its duty duly and respectfully everyday without anybody’s reminders. The Moon shines everyday and fills the world with its beautiful, holy and peace giving moonlight. No body bothers about it. The stars shine like pearls and rubies in the sky. People are busy collecting useless, perishable rubies and diamonds. Have you ever bothered about how many stars are in the sky? Have you ever given a thought about any more planets like Earth, having any existence of life? Nature has so much to tell you. Walk around. Break old illusions, crap traditions. Remember a rule is something which somebody felt was right, he jotted it down. You may feel something else is right. Don’t trust or follow other’s rules and regulations blindly. Crave your own path.

Not only God Made entities are beautiful. Man made entities are also beautiful. Try to see a five star hotel shining with thousands of small lights appearing as shining dots from a plane in the night; ever heard of Taj Mahal, Pyramids etc. Why are they called wonders? They are really wonderful! All the verses of the “Quran”, the holy epic of Mohammedan’s, is carved on the walls of the Taj Mahal, the Indian wonder.

Listen to the birds singing in the evening. See the thousands of penguins filling the seacoast like a painting done in black and white. Feel the chilling breeze touching your face when you drive a bike at a high speed. Ride above at a height in the night and check out the traffic on the road. It creates an illusion of a train of candles moving slowly. There is so much to live and experience. Find your passions, discover your interests. Create new interests.

Life has so much so much to say about it. Check out! Open your eyes.